Making the Most of Valentine’s Day

On the Shoofly - February 2025

Valentine's Day can make a memory that lasts a lifetime - or it can be a relationship disaster. Good communication is the key to managing expectations and making it a day to remember.

- by ​Heather Dubuisson

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​The bad: Last year, Americans reportedly spent an astonishing $27.5 BILLION on Valentine’s Day. Sometimes referred to as a “Hallmark holiday,” some choose not to recognize the occasion, which can sometimes lead to hurt feelings. In a recent Facebook survey, when asked about good vs. bad Valentine’s Day experiences, the bad responses outnumbered the good 3 to 1.
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One contributor was broken up with – via a Valentine’s Day card. Another bought gifts for her boyfriend and got nothing in return. Yet another told her story: “My boyfriend didn’t believe in celebrating Valentine’s Day. Every year I would watch those around me getting flowers (which I love) and going on sweet dates, and I would sit with nothing special. One Valentine’s Day while in my office, I got a knock on my door and opened it up to a delivery person holding the most spectacular bouquet. My heart swelled with excitement and joy until the person asked for the girl in the office next to mine.” I’m guessing that wasn’t a pleasant night for either member of that couple. 
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Let’s learn how to navigate this tricky and often harrowing holiday. I contacted Chelsea Mazzulo, Certified Marriage and Family Therapist (CMFT), and asked her how couples can get through the trials of hurt feelings and disappointment. Chelsea said that in her experience, communication and setting realistic expectations are key to everyone getting along, both on Valentine’s Day and every day. 
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“Communication is the key and maybe even a simple check-in on expectations, because I think expectations are the downfall of Valentine’s Day,” she said. Chelsea said letting your partner know what you realistically want to get out of the day can help avoid feelings of neglect or inadequacy that miscommunication can bring.
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And what if you don’t have a special someone? Treat yourself! In the words of Miley Cyrus, you can “Buy (your) self flowers!” With the creation of Galentine’s Day, we are turning what was a romantic holiday into one where we celebrate friendships as well. Many restaurants and bars will host Galentine’s Day events where you can attend even if you don’t know anyone.

Whomever you are celebrating with this year, be it your lover, your best friend, or your dog; just know that you are not alone. I want to wish every one of you a very happy Valentine’s Day!
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