The Shoofly
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Giving the day-hikers as wide a berth as possible, Oscar and I navigate the descent as fast as we can until finally, there it is. The Wasili Yi-- heaven at Neel Gap. The trail actually passes through a little breezeway of this store/building. They have pretty much everything a hiker could want. I have a package waiting for me with resupplies of food. Oscar and I shop a while, pick out a few t-shirts, repack them in my food box and ship them home. I shower (heavenly) and talk to the knowledgeable guys in the store about my shoes. They look skeptically at my minimalist Merrell running shoes and my sort-of-minimalist Keen sandals. I have been alternating between the two, so far, so good. One says, “I think you really might want to invest in something with more support and, these Merrells need to be a size larger than your regular size since your feet swell up to a size when you are doing big miles….” “Nah. I may for my next hike, but I’ll dance with the one that brung me.” I also see salve for abrasions, and I think, “I guess that’s for guys whose legs rub together…glad I don’t have that issue.” Oscar and I indulge in a couple of egg salad sandwiches and make a few phone calls since there is service, and off we go.
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We are not on the trail an hour before my feet start killing me. I mean killing me. I have already pretty much wrapped them in duct tape because of the blisters, but they are starting to swell, noticeably. And, of course, I begin feeling my shorts rubbing the insides of my thighs—and it hurts—like with every step. Oh great.
We soldier on, and as Murphy’s law would have it, the trail takes an immediate turn for the hellish. We climb incline after incline after incline but there is no good place to stop for the night.
My Xeroxed paper trail guide (pages from The A.T. Guide are my bible for how far I am from everything and where the next water is) has now gotten so wet—repeatedly-- it has almost disintegrated; there was no place on me to keep it that stayed dry and I had to consult it often, folding and unfolding it. I could barely still make out that the next shelter was at Whatley Gap, about seven miles past Neel Gap—making for about a twelve mile day. I press on, as fast as my lame feet will carry me. Finally, Oscar and I arrive, too close to dark for my tastes. The stream is .03 miles down the hill. We run down a couple of times to get enough water for cooking and drinking (putting in an extra mile or so just for good measure).
We just manage to get set up and eat before it gets dark.
As I take Oscar’s pack off, I see that it has rubbed him raw across his belly. In fact it has cut into him. I feel terrible. I am going to have to carry his pack for him tomorrow.
On the way down to Neel Gap, we had passed dozens of people. Since Neel Gap, we’ve seen about two, in over seven miles. Whatley Gap feels very remote, very quiet.
No one else is around.
Oscar and I retire to the Eno. I pull out my iPad, pop two Benadryl and read myself to sleep, managing to put the fact that I am in the middle of a lot of miles of inky blackness without anyone but sleepy Oscar around. About two am, I feel something scratching at the back of my head through my Eno. I am suddenly very awake. When panic subsides, I analyze the situation. Hmm. “Well, it doesn’t feel like a bear. After all, I am almost on the ground, I have hung my Eno low to accommodate Oscar….” “Ok, stop it!” I hit my Eno. It scratches my head again. I growl and make other (what I interpret to be) scary noises. It scratches some more. I keep trying the hitting, noises and headlamp things, to no avail. But, luckily, the other night when the critter was under my Eno, I thought that in the future I should put my hiking poles under me in case I needed them to fend off something in the night. Unluckily, I did not think to put them inside the mosquito net surrounding my Eno, so I would have to stick my hand down exactly where the critter was to retrieve said pole and risk being bitten by the rabid creature. So I opt to forego the poles.
This scratching thing went on for, oh, about an hour or so. Then the critter started licking my head. Great. I pulled out the iPad. I did my best to read between the licking and scratching. Finally, I was fed up. “Ok, I’m bear spraying it’s a**.” I pull down the side of the Eno, take aim directly under me and shoot. A strong blast launches from the can filling the air with hot pepper spray, but it’s not too bad inside the Eno. Silence…for about a minute… and here it goes again, scratch, scratch, dammit. Crap.
I give up and start reading. Oscar never wakes up.
We soldier on, and as Murphy’s law would have it, the trail takes an immediate turn for the hellish. We climb incline after incline after incline but there is no good place to stop for the night.
My Xeroxed paper trail guide (pages from The A.T. Guide are my bible for how far I am from everything and where the next water is) has now gotten so wet—repeatedly-- it has almost disintegrated; there was no place on me to keep it that stayed dry and I had to consult it often, folding and unfolding it. I could barely still make out that the next shelter was at Whatley Gap, about seven miles past Neel Gap—making for about a twelve mile day. I press on, as fast as my lame feet will carry me. Finally, Oscar and I arrive, too close to dark for my tastes. The stream is .03 miles down the hill. We run down a couple of times to get enough water for cooking and drinking (putting in an extra mile or so just for good measure).
We just manage to get set up and eat before it gets dark.
As I take Oscar’s pack off, I see that it has rubbed him raw across his belly. In fact it has cut into him. I feel terrible. I am going to have to carry his pack for him tomorrow.
On the way down to Neel Gap, we had passed dozens of people. Since Neel Gap, we’ve seen about two, in over seven miles. Whatley Gap feels very remote, very quiet.
No one else is around.
Oscar and I retire to the Eno. I pull out my iPad, pop two Benadryl and read myself to sleep, managing to put the fact that I am in the middle of a lot of miles of inky blackness without anyone but sleepy Oscar around. About two am, I feel something scratching at the back of my head through my Eno. I am suddenly very awake. When panic subsides, I analyze the situation. Hmm. “Well, it doesn’t feel like a bear. After all, I am almost on the ground, I have hung my Eno low to accommodate Oscar….” “Ok, stop it!” I hit my Eno. It scratches my head again. I growl and make other (what I interpret to be) scary noises. It scratches some more. I keep trying the hitting, noises and headlamp things, to no avail. But, luckily, the other night when the critter was under my Eno, I thought that in the future I should put my hiking poles under me in case I needed them to fend off something in the night. Unluckily, I did not think to put them inside the mosquito net surrounding my Eno, so I would have to stick my hand down exactly where the critter was to retrieve said pole and risk being bitten by the rabid creature. So I opt to forego the poles.
This scratching thing went on for, oh, about an hour or so. Then the critter started licking my head. Great. I pulled out the iPad. I did my best to read between the licking and scratching. Finally, I was fed up. “Ok, I’m bear spraying it’s a**.” I pull down the side of the Eno, take aim directly under me and shoot. A strong blast launches from the can filling the air with hot pepper spray, but it’s not too bad inside the Eno. Silence…for about a minute… and here it goes again, scratch, scratch, dammit. Crap.
I give up and start reading. Oscar never wakes up.
Slow Burn and Blisters
In the morning, I unzip the
mosquito net and we crawl out of the Eno. Inspecting the turf below. I find
that I have covered my hiking poles and water bottle in bear spray (which is
oil based). Lovely. I make several trips to the stream to wash/scrub these off.
(Another mile or so for fun.)
Finally after a protracted morning pack-up, Oscar and I set off down the trail—only to discover that the trail ends just past our campsite. “Wait a minute, I know this trail goes on for a couple of thousand miles…what is up with this?” We look all over, and the only way to go is back the way we came. It turns out that between my pain, haste and disintegrating trail guide, I have taken us 1 and ½ miles (downhill) off the trail to this shelter—three miles out of the way! (Not to mention the extra couple of miles I have trekked back and forth to the spring.) Cuss.
We climb all the way back up the hill 1 and ½ miles to the trail proper and proceed. Instead of counting today, I plant my poles to the chant of “dumb a**, dumb a**, dumb a**.”
As the day progresses, the palms of my hands burn, and burn and burn, thanks to my good aim with the bear spray. We come to a stream--I scrub them with sand. It helps some. Wiping my face with them, however, does not as my eyes start to burn like –well, like someone put hot sauce in them. My feet swell and swell some more. My shorts are rubbing the crap out of the insides of my thighs. Oh for some non-chafing cream! Oscar is limping now. Good Lord.
Finally after a protracted morning pack-up, Oscar and I set off down the trail—only to discover that the trail ends just past our campsite. “Wait a minute, I know this trail goes on for a couple of thousand miles…what is up with this?” We look all over, and the only way to go is back the way we came. It turns out that between my pain, haste and disintegrating trail guide, I have taken us 1 and ½ miles (downhill) off the trail to this shelter—three miles out of the way! (Not to mention the extra couple of miles I have trekked back and forth to the spring.) Cuss.
We climb all the way back up the hill 1 and ½ miles to the trail proper and proceed. Instead of counting today, I plant my poles to the chant of “dumb a**, dumb a**, dumb a**.”
As the day progresses, the palms of my hands burn, and burn and burn, thanks to my good aim with the bear spray. We come to a stream--I scrub them with sand. It helps some. Wiping my face with them, however, does not as my eyes start to burn like –well, like someone put hot sauce in them. My feet swell and swell some more. My shorts are rubbing the crap out of the insides of my thighs. Oh for some non-chafing cream! Oscar is limping now. Good Lord.
The good news is we have a long stretch of good terrain. After our initial climb, we jog about seven miles in no time. But it becomes more and more apparent as the day wears on, we are going to have to take a down/no-miles day tomorrow. I only have two days left to hike. If I take a down day tomorrow, then I will be getting back on and off the trail the last day. I don’t like this idea. I am thinking I may have to just get off tonight and stay off—come back for the next round. But, how to get off? Sallie and Joyce aren’t expecting me for two days. I will have to do seventeen miles to get to a road today and then, I don’t know if I will have cell service or be able to find a ride and it will be about dark.
Well, it’s our only option. We press on. I wrap my thighs in duct tape because I cannot stand it any more. This works until the duct tape comes unwrapped and becomes stuck to my pubic hair. Really!? What fresh hell is this?
At least we are getting close. The easy part of the trail ends. It starts up, down, up and up…. We limp. We sit. I lie down on my pack on the down-slopes. Oscar curls up at my feet on the trail. This has to be the last hill. It isn’t. Finally it was and down we went to Unicoi Gap, the road and a parking lot. Now, if I can just reach Joyce and Sallie. They answer, thank god.
Soon Oscar and I are ensconced in Sallie’s luxurious Subaru, on the way to my luxurious Prius and we have reservations at a “hiker hotel” in Hiawassee.
I have never been so happy to see a hotel in my life. To say that it was not luxurious would be a monumental understatement. But, it seemed pretty clean. (Admittedly, everything seemed pretty clean compared to us.) I cursorily showered, we go to get food and come back. I set about doctoring my feet, which have been reduced to one big blister. They are disgusting. The duct tape and dirt has formed a formidable sticky concoction that will not yield to soap, water and/or scrubbing. I will just have to live with them looking awful for a while.
I did what I could for them, cleaned Oscar up too and we climbed up in the bed and passed out.
Well, it’s our only option. We press on. I wrap my thighs in duct tape because I cannot stand it any more. This works until the duct tape comes unwrapped and becomes stuck to my pubic hair. Really!? What fresh hell is this?
At least we are getting close. The easy part of the trail ends. It starts up, down, up and up…. We limp. We sit. I lie down on my pack on the down-slopes. Oscar curls up at my feet on the trail. This has to be the last hill. It isn’t. Finally it was and down we went to Unicoi Gap, the road and a parking lot. Now, if I can just reach Joyce and Sallie. They answer, thank god.
Soon Oscar and I are ensconced in Sallie’s luxurious Subaru, on the way to my luxurious Prius and we have reservations at a “hiker hotel” in Hiawassee.
I have never been so happy to see a hotel in my life. To say that it was not luxurious would be a monumental understatement. But, it seemed pretty clean. (Admittedly, everything seemed pretty clean compared to us.) I cursorily showered, we go to get food and come back. I set about doctoring my feet, which have been reduced to one big blister. They are disgusting. The duct tape and dirt has formed a formidable sticky concoction that will not yield to soap, water and/or scrubbing. I will just have to live with them looking awful for a while.
I did what I could for them, cleaned Oscar up too and we climbed up in the bed and passed out.
The next morning we awoke, got in the car to go to the shipping store to ship my pack home (as we were now on the way to Massachusetts to pick Bess up from a summer camp at Amherst College and didn’t want to take it or ride with it in the car because it stunk, bad). As I pulled the seat belt across my shoulder, I winced. It hurt like crazy for the seat belt to touch my collarbone where my pack had been or to touch my hips where the pack sat. Every part of my body hurt. My feet were still swollen. I did not think I would ever recover.
But I did. Oscar and I made the trek to Massachusetts. I was surprised that by the next morning, I felt like a new person. I was not nearly as sore, and felt like I could have actually taken to the trail again. But, alas, children called.
My short stints on the trail were eventful, certainly challenging on many levels, fun, even. In hindsight, I undoubtedly pushed Oscar and myself too hard on our solo hike. Next time I will go easier on us. Next time I will not worry so much about being super woman and worry about looking around and taking a little more time. Even going too fast and doing too much, there was so much to see and so much to take in, so much that I did see and did take in. There was great challenge and gratification in having to make decisions and live with the immediacy of the consequences. There was a simplicity in this that is lost in my daily life.
But, perhaps the most significant thing about my experience was that being out there, doing something of my own, on my own, gave me back something I had lost in life’s maelstrom of finding a mate, establishing a career, having and rearing children and trying to do what I am “supposed” to be doing in life. The trail gave me back knowing there is a me outside children, husband and law practice…that there is a me that can aspire, that there is a me that can attain. My challenge now is to give air, light and voice to her, and not just on the Appalachian Trail.
But I did. Oscar and I made the trek to Massachusetts. I was surprised that by the next morning, I felt like a new person. I was not nearly as sore, and felt like I could have actually taken to the trail again. But, alas, children called.
My short stints on the trail were eventful, certainly challenging on many levels, fun, even. In hindsight, I undoubtedly pushed Oscar and myself too hard on our solo hike. Next time I will go easier on us. Next time I will not worry so much about being super woman and worry about looking around and taking a little more time. Even going too fast and doing too much, there was so much to see and so much to take in, so much that I did see and did take in. There was great challenge and gratification in having to make decisions and live with the immediacy of the consequences. There was a simplicity in this that is lost in my daily life.
But, perhaps the most significant thing about my experience was that being out there, doing something of my own, on my own, gave me back something I had lost in life’s maelstrom of finding a mate, establishing a career, having and rearing children and trying to do what I am “supposed” to be doing in life. The trail gave me back knowing there is a me outside children, husband and law practice…that there is a me that can aspire, that there is a me that can attain. My challenge now is to give air, light and voice to her, and not just on the Appalachian Trail.
Miss Part One of Marcie's AT Adventure? Click here.
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